officially, obama is the president. old news, i know, but i've been working on writing down my thoughts on the subject since the day it happened, and it's been slow and arduous. here's what i've come up with: listening to his speech on the radio made me rather emotional. as far as politicians go, obama is really a pretty awesome guy. as much as a politician can or has, he totally rocks my world. before i left for the trail i was reading a lot of his...i forget what it was called, but the outline of the things he wanted to change, and feeling really inspired by it. it was the first time i'd ever really WANTED a politician to represent me. i actually felt positive about him, not just a lack of negative. i guess a lot of people felt that way. i'd venture a statement that has no statistical backing that even if he didn't receive an much greater number of votes than other winning candidates in the past, the votes he got were more impassioned by a landslide.
of course, a lot has changed since then. most significantly, a lot has changed in ME since then. and while i still think he's an amazing politician, and i think he is an incredibly capable and competent human being who, within the structure of our government and the representative nature of our political world, i am proud to have represent me, this time, for the first time, when i heard him speak i felt like there was a whole lot wrong.
let me first address what was right: obama has had an immense impact on my ability to think of myself as an american. that, to me, is the most important reason i like him. his opinion about what makes america excellent is grounded, and real; he promotes values that i can get behind, and makes me realize that they ARE, in many ways, the fundamentals of our society. that we DO have a culture, and that it isn't just consumption and greed. he points me to things that actually stand out as american in my mind, and they actually happen to be things i think are part of who i am as a human being. somehow, when he says we value freedom, it means something real to me. when he says we value equality, it means something real to me. when he says we value the pursuit of happiness, it means something real to me. he sees america as a country of people who came together, who united, and worked hard to build a place founded on these things. and he doesn't pay it lip service. he really means it. and when i think about it from that perspective, i really mean it too. these things are real, i care about them, they make me american, and they make me proud of being american. they are ingrained in my psyche; they are very much a part of who i am.
what is wrong, however, goes much deeper for me than what is right. it does not lie in obama (tho he buys into it), and it really doesn't lie in america (tho our country promotes it), either. the wrongness i feel is bigger than either of these, and it is about freedom in a greater sense. essentially, i have been gathering awareness that the whole concept of a political structure strikes me as, at a base level, wrong. that ultimately, freedom, equality, and happiness are best served by organization only a local level, and that small communities of people devoted to sustainability don't ultimately need the organizational structure that is national government, much like healthcare doesn't need and isn't served by the organizational structure that is health insurance, and that these large structures tend to weaken community and degrade humanity and the world we live in. embarrassingly, i think about the notice at t. j. scallywaggles that says, "anarchism is democracy without the politicians," and i think maybe i'm becoming an anarchist... genuine freedom, where everything is FREE, where work means toiling for what you NEED and sharing this with the other members of the community who work together to promote their own sustenance...it make SENSE. where artistic expression and social connection are the main elements of life worth pursuing outside of sustenance, and they are FREE. i love to poke fun at the 'organization' of anarchists and how cute those guys over at tj's are, and i realize that my ideals and the utopia they would create are probably unrealistic and absurd, but deeply, they strike me as appropriate, and actually real.
obama's speech really highlighted this for me in his (what was supposed to be 'inspiring') promotion of the (very american) idea of progress, and growth. we as a country and as a people, perhaps more dramatically than other countries (tho i'm not entirely sure of that) move ever further, every day, away from the realities of what it takes to keep ourselves alive, from our connectedness to the physical world, and towards an artificial comfort and idea of progress that doesn't actually provide greater spiritual, emotional, or health benefits. how does 'growing' the economy actually grow us, as a nation or as a people? how does giving everyone health insurance
actually make us a healthier people? what is hard work, what are freedoms, when they pertain to artificial elements of life, to acquisition of stuff, and time to be bombarded by media and superficial ways of having 'fun'? it's a very hard concept for me to explain because it feels so far reaching and unrealistic... but it also feels very deep and real to me. i'm gonna keep thinking on it. hopefully i won't let it drive me crazy.
but so long as i'm committing myself to being american, and while i find value in espousing my own americanness, and until i really do go crazy and hermitize myself or found a commune and secede from this country...in other words until i really go whole hog...obama's my man. even if i do find myself growing ever more disappointed in this country, and the idea of a country itself, i'm happy to give obama my support and proud to say he's my representative for at least the next four years. and, tho it's certainly belated at this point, happy obama day! the grapefruits are delicious.
No comments:
Post a Comment