lehighton, pa

so delaware water gap is a pretty nice town. and there's a church hostel there run by pastor karen. and last year, she gave my hiking partner wookie crap for no reason about when he was leaving (in fact, as he was packing up she acted like he was taking advantage of the stay and told him he HAD to leave..which he was in process of doing). i rode into town last night after an 85 mile ride (my longest yet) to find pastor karen talking with the 4 (not thru-)hikers who were at the hostel for the night, and after greeting me and my telling her we met last year when i thru-hiked and i am now riding my bike to virginia and i'm hoping i can stay the night she got all serious and angry and takes a million deep breaths and basically makes a REAL elaborate show out of telling me 'ok.....but don't tell anyone you were here, we have a lot of trouble with bikers, and this place is for HIKERS, and bikers can just ride themselves to anywhere they might want to go...'

anyway, my point is, some people are awesome. and some people think they're awesome, but are actually just not. i dunno what's her deal. but i stayed the night, hung out with a few hikers, crushed a game of scrabble, and now i'm in lehighton, pa, checking email and having lunch.

crushing it?

i arrived at red hook around 5pm on friday. we went out to dinner friday night, and then played this sweet card/boardish game called "in a pickle" which was totally fun. and then it was the weekend, which was the hottest weekend of life ever. we spent most of our time sitting on the dock out in their pond, talking about how rediculously hot it was, and challenging the red hook community to a vegan food awareness competition. so much fun.


i slept on the raft saturday night, (cowboy camped, if you will) tho not sunday, since there was rain forecasted and heat ligtening on our way home from dinner. which reminds me, sunday night dinner was totally amazing, tho unfortunately i don't remember their name and i've only 5 minutes left on this computer before i'm gonna get the boot.




i spent the last 2 nights in wallkill, ny, couchsurfing. i was planning on only spending one night, but the weather was soooo hot, i couldn't bear to ride my bike out. so my host marcus and his buddy pat and i spent our days at lake minnewaska, actually swimming. it was totally awesome. then last night where we built a fire, and then it started raining. somehow, in the process of building the fire, my phone fell out of my pocket, and then spent the night (in the rain!) outside on the lawn. when i found it this morning, it was just chillin', and only a little wet...but i immediately turned it off, took out the battery, and put it in a bag with some flax seeds to absorb any water that might have gotten inside. did it work, you ask? well, as soon as i get all the flax seeds out of my phone, i'll turn it back on and let you know...i thought i was being so clever :/

and now, i'm being cut short by the port jervis free library internet computer nazi. i'll be in delaware water gap tonight, then onward to state college!

fun in the sun

after i left the greenfield library i was greeted by couchsurfing host zoe (who is getting her phd in medicinal plants) and her housemate, jon (assistant manager to a local organic farm). they served me homemade vegan friendly fare, and i slept on the couch next to the wood stove. oh, luxury!

i awoke to a day that looked beautiful, clearing skies, sun...alas, i was fooled. i travelled 49 miles INTO a serious headwind and rain ALL DAY LONG. i did still get some awesome views, and it really was a beautiful day. i only had to put my rain pants on for the last couple few miles, when the cold wind really picked up. this picture is from hawley, ma, along route 8A. i spent pretty much all day climbing up and up and up along this road, so i could coast the last 5 miles into dalton. i climbed for waaaay longer than 5 miles. but it was totally worth it.

in dalton, i stayed last night with tom lovardi, climbing ever higher in the running for most awesome trail angel ever. i stayed at his house last year when i hiked through the town. he was working in the basement when i arrived (putting in a washer and dryer, no more biking to the laundromat, hiker trash!) and welcomed me into his home, treated me to dinner, and then out to duff & dell's for breakfast this morning. duff & dell's is the most classic corner store/diner ever, where all the old folks from town go every morning for breakfast. i had a peek in the old trail registers from last year. ::nostalgia:: i headed out after breakfast, to sunny skies and 60 degree weather!

i had tom snap a quick pic of me this morning before i left his house. don't worry, i have a helmet, it's over there on that shrub on the right. seriously, it just fell out of my hand and tom put it up there for the photo.

i'm in the hillsdale public library right now, borrowing internet time and enjoying a mid-day break. i have probably close to 30 more miles to go today before i arrive in red hook, to spend the weekend with alissa and mike!

shelburne, ma

"please don't eat us"

officially official?

i feel like my dad, who has so much 'favorite' music that he has to qualify his favorites with terms like, 'all time favorite' and 'all time favorite of all time.' for what it's worth, i'm riding my bike to virginia. and today, for the first time, i'm closer to virginia than i was when i started. that's right. forward progress. i don't know if you know this, but i'm pretty awesome.

today was an uneventful ride, save a small amount of rain. in attempt to not overdo it i've planned frequent overnights and don't have to ride more than 50ish miles any given day, which at this point seems like it may have been an unnecessary step...i left my parent's house after noon today and arrived at my destination by 4pm (2 hrs before i meet with my couchsurfing host).

thank god for the thru-hiking experience, which taught me (oh so well) how to burn time in town as a vagabond. so i'm here at the library (i asked that guy in the street where to find it, he gave me really good directions, thanks guy in the street), which, i would like to go on record as saying, is THE busiest public library i have ever been in. i mean, there are people here. the computers are all full (tho i only had to wait for...like 5 minutes to get on one) and people are reading books and hanging out and talking to each other and...it's bustling, that's what i'm trying to say.

so i'm out of new hampshire. won't be back for at least a month. i'm officially really on this bike trip. but more importantly, i'm officially heading towards my final destination. officially official. it's my all time favorite of all time.

gill, ma

i believe the proper term is, "giddy up"

marlborough, nh

i believe the sign read, "one lane underpass." i was going down this hill, not up, as the picture implies. beyond me (down the hill) is so steep i nearly got off and walked...keep in mind it's dirt, and turns greater than 90 degrees with frequency. luckily there were no cars. why does a road like that even exist?

going crazy

i'm so bothered by the finite nature of life...and everything it contains. i spend so much time focused on the finitude of the things that i do, how without continuity all things are meaningless. i've said it so many times it makes me want to vomit to say it again.

it's not that i believe that nothing is infinite. i belive it's possible that matter or energy could be infinite. i have no evidence to the contrary. and there is somehow an organization to the energy that is within me. and perhaps this energy, the aliveness of being alive, as opposed to the consciousness of being alive, even within a person who certainly will die and is not infinite herself, perhaps this energy is infinite. the problem remains, that i do not associate with this infinite nature. i know through my consciousness, i experience through my senses. but these things are not the livingness of being alive. they are the finite ways our beings are able to experience life.

soo. how do we go about connecting to the livingness of life? how can i associate with my infinite nature? (i heart huckabees, anyone?)

maybe i'll figure that out. and when i do, surely i will have conquered death. or is that when i can stand on my head for three hours? oh i'm so confused.

i think i'm gonna go do some yoga. heading south tomorrow.

nh's on the way to va, right?

how many people have asked me where i'm going, to which i say (truthfully) "initially, virginia" and they say, "when'd you start?" and i say something like, "yesterday," and they say, "where'd you start?" and i say, "boston..." and then i get this look. sometimes, followed by, 'you know you're going the wrong way, right?"

yes, i know new hampshire isn't on the way to virginia from boston. i've actually looked at a map before.


i swear tho, from here, my path will make a lot more sense. granted, i'm going to be spending a couple few days here in dublin shacking up with the parents before heading out again. but i'll definitely be going south-west-ish from now on.


so on arrival to manchester thursday night, instead of a grand welcome, my front tire exploded. yes, exploded. thank god i was pulling into manchester and not in the middle of the wilderness in west virginia. i suppose i should have expected it to happen (after all the trouble it gave me and the worker bees of bike international). it meant i had to walk my bike the last 2ish miles into downtown to the nearest bike store, where i spent at least an hour trying to get the right new tire from their severly limited options.

i eventually worked that out, and $50 and a fair amount of stress later i met up with my couchsurfing host for the evening, had a shower and got some food. peter was a great host; we watched the movie 'holy mountain' which i would happily recommend to anyone who likes abstract film, but not for the conventional minded movie goer.

and then yesterday i rode from manchester to my parents' house in dublin. it's a hilly ride, but i imagine that's something i'm going to want to get used to, seeing as i'll be basically following the appalachian mountain range all the way to virginia.


i passed through the boston university sargent camp, which apparently is going to be shut down due to financial concerns (i don't even know what it is, but i have always seen the sign on the highway). crossing this river made me nostalgic for summer. i wished it was warmer so i could go swimming. of course, there's still snow on the sides of the roads around here.

"worry is the misuse of your imagination"

today makes day 3 of consecutive days biking and actually going somewhere (as opposed to riding back and forthe between the rents' and doug and esther's or loops for training). i spent my first night out at christine's, hanging out with matt and matt and david and her, talking about public policy and regulation. yesterday put me in dover, back at the hospital to catch up with old friends i haven't seen since before my hike. we went out to drinks and dinner, where despite my best efforts i ended up being served non-vegan food. but rather to eat it than to throw it away (next time i'll be much more explicit about my requests). and i spent last night at a "couch surfing" stop in dover, with someone who is from my hometown (mont vernon) and went to my highschool, and travelled to australia and new zealand with me back in 2001. sam, his friend bobby, and i, had a great night with a little too much wine, an unsuccessful attempt at dumpster diving, and great conversation.

i'm sitting now in nottingham, soaking up some sun, after a short (30 min) nap on the square. after i woke up a woman walked by to talk with me about my trip. apparently her daughter is also on a bike tour, down around tennessee and north carolina. i have ot say, people never fail to impress me with their goodwill and desire to share and commune.

tonight i will be couch surfing again in machester, this time not with someone i coincidentally know from the past.

break by the river

newmarket, nh. i used to live here. i miss it, it's beautiful.

going forth

it's such a sexy bike .

tell me it doesn't pay to be a cute girl

i'll tell you you're wrong.

so i went to the bike store to buy my FINAL items (god willing) and they were new tires, new tubes, and a new helmet.

they were all out of tubes. so i had to go to ems, where the cute, boyish, girl behind the counter asks me, "are you a student?" (they have a student discount at ems), to which i say, 'no, i wish,' and she says, 'well, i'll give you the nice person discount, anyway...it's not official, but...'

sweet.

then after getting home and being unable to find my tire levers, and therefore unable to change the old tires out for the new ones, i head back to bike international, where the same mechanic gives me a set of tire levers for free.

sweet.

then i go back home and still completely fail to get the tire changed, because it was so incredibly tight fitting. i bring it and the wheel back to bike international, where not only the same mechanic but also every guy in the shop attempts to put it on for me. and then, when it finally happens, and it turns out the tube is leaking, they take it apart, give me a new tube for free, and put it back together, and never charge me for the at least 30 minutes of labor they put into it.

sweet.

life is suffering

not that i mean to depress anyone. at the request of my brother, new shirts have been born. my final act before venturing forth into the homeless life.

Lunch with the dead

i'm sitting here in the woodlawn cemetery (founded 1730) in acton, mass, near the jonas and brooks families and i have two thoughts:

1. way to go lydia brooks, wife of deacon john brooks... she outlived her husband by 25 years, and then gave herself a bigger headstone. i bet she was awesome. i mean, her husband died in 1777, and she lived to 91 years old. she'd probably had to have been)

2. i think it would be awesome to live in a post-apocalyptic world so i could walk through this graveyard as an archaeologist and dig up all the old dead people's bones and play with them

does that make me crazy?

Plans? We don't need no stinkin' PLANS!!!

"Plans?? We don't need no stinkin' PLANS!!"

i will probably never see the movie that line is originally stolen from, but i HAVE seen UHF, which really ought to be on everyone's must watch list. absolutely a classic.

so i am officially unemployed, which is totally rediculous. not like it's the first time i've ever been unemployed. i was unemployed through much of my college career, and obviously for the 6 months i hiked the AT i had no job, either. but this time i also have nothing really going on. i mean, yes, i have this bike trip which to most people seems to be a pretty major thing going on. but once i get to virginia in a month and a week, i really have no plans.

and even the plans i have to get myself to virginia are so so lax. take for example, my original intention to move out of the dining room today and head up to nh for the next week or so before heading down to the dirty south. i miraculously have discovered an extra week of my life, and realized that there's no urgency for my pulling out. so i've done a little exploring on the old couchsurfing.com (if you don't know it....totally check it out) and now plan to head north this coming tuesday. which means, while i'm already offically unemployed, i'm no longer officially homeless (until tuesday) as originally planned.

so now my plans are simply to ride my bike as much as possible, and have the best good time. that's forever, folks. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of my life.

30 mile sunday loop

52 miles. not bad, but obviously not the full 75 i was hoping for. i made it to new ipswich, nh, where there is a mobil station and a little corner 'market.' i feel incredibly out of shape; i think i tore the crap out of my legs today. as i recall, i never really went though bad muscle soreness hiking (knees and feet, yes) because i was very careful not to overdo the mileage. no, now i reacall doing too much into NOC, but that's the only one i remember. i feel like i'm probably too late already to make that call for myself agin, but luckily i can take the next week off if i want, and my trip that actually starts to christine's isnt nearly so long as 75 miles.

it's chilly and grey. no sun all day long. there is still snow here in the woods, hiding.

in general, tho, besides the current pain in my left knee and my inability to make the over-zealous goal of dublin, i'm really enjoying the ride. very different (obviously) from the walking in the woods, but having a map and options is very fun, and no real guidelines. i'm really looking forward to starting for real.

and also going south to warmer weather.

it's late, and i can't sleep. i'm going on my test ride tomorrow - a max of about 75 miles, if i make it that far, tho who knows if i will...

i've got a lot of stress, mostly dealing with the trip/change in life status i'm imposing upon myself, but there are other issues weighing in, as there always are. i've been thinking about all the time i spend thinking about how i think life is generally meaningless, mostly because i'm convinced i inhabit a godless universe. it seems to lead me to an inherently depressive outlook on life, and a world outlook, too, that doesn't support my life choices, no matter what they may be. in fact, it feels like just making life choices is at odds with the idea that life has no meaning, and this is something that greatly troubles me.

it becomes obvious when i think about other people, how i'm attracted to a carefree, happy-go-lucky quality and an adventuresome spirit. the more i ruminate on life and its purposelessness the less functional i become, the less capable i am of being like the people i admire; instead, there seems to develop a sort of ongoing anxiety about the inevitability and finality of all things.

what i wish i could say is that i'm trying too hard, that i'm just searching for an answer to how i can feel good about living my life, given my understanding of the universe and all things within it. but the reality is i'm NOT trying too hard, i'm not trying at all...i'm just unable (or at least i feel unable) to stop my brain from going to these places any time i make a decision about anything (which, as it turns out, is all the time).

when i was in highschool i remember deciding that, regardless of my belief in a finite reality, no god, no afterlife, etc, i did believe in life itself, as some sort of force beyond what i or anyone, really, understood, and thinking that it permeated beyond the living beings we find it inhabiting. i don't, to this day, know very much about the evolutionary science regarding what LIFE itself actually is, and whether we understand what makes cellular structures alive and dead and create and cycle energy...these things i admit to being ignorant of. this idea that life is a greater force, it doesn't mean there's an afterlife, or reincarnation. and certainly it doesn't allow for the consciousness to continue past death. and that was somewhat troubling to me back in highschool (as it is to this day) because it meant, on the inevitability that i will (and i will) one day die, my consciousness and the only way my life has any awareness and beingness to it will certainly disappear. and this is really where i stared realizing how deeply i wanted to live forever.

but now, years from that highschool self who was realizing the finitude of her consciousness, in light of a continued, extensive, unwaivering faith in the truth of the finite nature of life, i cannot help but find a little comfort in the somewhat mystical lack of understanding that shrouds being alive, in general. if i'm stuck in a consciousness that will inevitably disappear, focusing this conciousness on the fact that it will itself dissolve into nothingness will not ever leave me free from the anxiety of death. the death and the finality and the meaninglessness are going to remain constant. the awesomeness of living and its incomprehensibility will remain, as well. being in awe is a better feeling place than holding onto anxiety.

how weird and crazy that i even have these thoughts that i can't shut off in the first place.

sooner or later i'll write about empathy, and attachements. i wish i were asleep right now.